


Dirty Windows Short Stories

by Semi_problematic



Series: Dirty Windows [2]
Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Childhood Sexual Abuse, Childhood Trauma, F/F, F/M, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2018-11-21 02:39:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11348157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: Random scenes I thought of and wrote for Dirty Windows that might not make it into the book.





	1. Photograph

Philip and Lukas are laying on the grass as the sun sets. Lukas asked to see pictures and videos from his riding that day when he stumbles upon pictures of Jessica and Emma kissing, holding hands, and smiling at each other.

"What's this?" Lukas asked, swiping through the photos.

"My friends."

"It's two girls kissing. Are you into that?" Lukas laughed.

Philip rolled his eyes. "No."

"Then why do you have these?"

"Because I like taking pictures of beautiful things. Their love is beautiful."

Lukas sets his phone down. "What about ours?"

"Its messy."

Lukas looks up at him the same way Emma looks at Jessica. "Who says messy can't be beautiful?"


	2. Real

It was their first night together. Lukas decided to sneak through Philips bedroom window because he was having such a hard day. In health class they talked about sexual predators and the rest of the day Philip had just seemed off. Only Lukas seemed to notice, but only Lukas would pay that much attention to someone, it was impossible not to, though. 

Lukas had his arm draped across Philips side, his nose pressed to the back of Philips head. Philips back was pressed against Lukas' chest. They had been asleep for hours, both passing out after a long Star Wars marathon Lukas insisted on watching. It was almost perfect, being with Lukas and being out. Lukas being with him and only him made him unbelievably happy. 

So of course something terrible had to happen. Philip had a nightmare, which wasn't a rare occurrence, not at all, but Philip only had one around Noah and he knew Lukas wasn't good with emotions, so when he woke up in a blind panic it was terrifying.

The dream was like one he always had. Todd getting to him again and punishing him for telling. Todd beating him and touching him all over again, Philip could still feel the hands grabbing at him as he awoke. 

It startled Lukas awake, too. It took him a few seconds to realize what was happening. He had to run his eyes and think for a few seconds before rubbing Philips back.

"Baby, it's okay." Lukas whispered. He didn't want to grab at Philip. It would terrify him even more and that was the last thing Lukas wanted to do. 

Philip was shaking, tears spilling out of his eyes and onto the pillow he was laying on. He was curled up, sobbing and gasping at the same time, even choking on the air he was trying to get into his lungs. It was minutes before he could finally breathe again. Lukas was still rubbing his back and kissing his head, telling him that he was safe and that he was okay and that Todd couldn't get to him anymore, that Lukas wouldn't let him.

Philip wiped his eyes and rolled over. He was still shaking. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. "It was just so real.. I must have terrified you." 

Philip was terrified and it wasn't because of the dream. He was worried he scared Lukas away.

"I have nightmares, too." Lukas offered a smile. "You didn't terrify me in a bad way, I was just worried you were hurt."

He was, in so many ways.

"I'm okay now." Philip rubbed his face. "We should sleep." Without giving Lukas a second to reply Philip rolled over and settled against Lukas' chest. Within seconds the room was silent, the only sound being their synced breathing and the wind outside. 

Philip cried again and Lukas was awake to feel it. Yeah, he felt it first. The way Philips chest began to shake and the way his breathing quickened. Lukas rolled him over without giving him a choice.

"What's wrong?"

Philips tears shined in the moonlight flowing in through the window. "It was so real.. It.. god, Lukas, it was so real. I could almost believe it happened." 

Lukas picked Philips hand up and snaked it underneath his shirt, shushing Philip when he tried to speak. Lukas placed his hand over his heart and smiled at Philip. "Feel that?"

Philip nodded. 

"That's real.. not your dream, but this." He pressed Philips hand harder against him. "Every time you have those dreams.. or those flashbacks, I read you could get those.. just touch me. I'm real. I'm here."

Philip didn't pay attention to the last thing Lukas said, he was more excited that Lukas was trying and that Lukas actually read about all the things Philip has to deal with as an abuse survivor. 

He kept his hand on Lukas' chest, counting his heart beats as if they were sheep. Philip wasn't thankful that he had nightmares, but he was thankful that Lukas was there and that Lukas was real.


	3. Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lukas meeting Philip for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I wrote this because we only see them meeting from Philips point of view

Lukas sped down the road, his hands tight on the handle bars. He had driven this road a million times, but tonight felt different. There wasn't a way to explain it, but there was a reason, or maybe it was an excuse. Lukas had seen the same silver sports car drive up and down the road four times in two days, something had to be up. He hasn't seen moving cars or heard about any new people. Lukas knew he sounded like one of those nosey old people, but he did pay attention to things, and in Tivoli people didn't just drive around and site see. He shook his head, clearing his mind of the thought and began to think about the task he had to do. Tell Gabe to come over and check on their horse. They were lucky that Gabe lived so close, but it annoyed Lukas because apparently his father didn't know what a phone was, and he insisted that every time they needed Gabe Lukas should just drive over for practice or something. 

As he pulled into their driveway Lukas noticed a boy. From the light on his bike he could see the boy had curly brown hair and a blue shirt on. He was thin and looked like he was shorter than Lukas. And for some reason Lukas couldn't tear his eyes from him. He slowed to a stop and shut off his motorcycle and kicked the kick stand out. Lukas pulled his helmet off and looked the boy up and down. He was only a few feet away from Helens car and he had keys in his hand, they were shining in the light. But Lukas still needed an excuse to figure out who he was. He puffed his chest out and took a deep breath.

"Are you trying to break into that car?" He asked, climbing off of his motorcycle and straightening up. He was taller than the boy. He walked towards the boy, stepping so he was only a few feet away from him.

The boys cheeks turned pink and it made Lukas feel something in his chest. "Um.. no.." The boys voice was soft and smooth, dripping in honey. He smiled as he held the keys up in front of Lukas. "I got keys."

"So you stole the keys?" Lukas fired back, as confident as he could. He crossed his arms and looked down at Philip. He was lucky that he could use this as an excuse to keep talking, he didn't know why, but he did know that he didn't want this boy to leave.

The boy was starting to get nervous. His face got even redder and he started to babble. Lukas wondered why. He wasn't that intimidating. "Yeah, I mean, no, I have the keys, Helen gave them to me, you know, she's the sheriff."

"Yeah, I know she's the sheriff, it says it on her car." Lukas was smiling but he looked down to cover it, his hair falling in front of his face. "Who are you?" 

"I'm.. Philip, Helen and Gabe's foster son." Philip rubbed the back of his neck with the hand that had the keys and he winced. Lukas smirked. He probably cut himself with a key.

Lukas got the answers he had wanted, for some reason Helen and Gabe have a foster son, his name is Philip. He nodded to himself and made his way up towards the house. After all, he was out of excuses to keep bothering Philip. He heard Philip turn around and he couldn't help but smile to himself. He didn't need any more excuses.

"Shouldn't I be asking you stuff?" Philip called, walking up to Lukas and stepping in front of him. He was only inches away and for some reason Lukas wanted to touch him.

Lukas watched him. "Like?"

"Who are you?"

Lukas had to bite back a smirk. "Lukas."

"From?" 

"Down the street."

"And why are you here, Lukas?" 

Philip sounded like some kind of rather or something.

"Because one of our horses is acting funny and my dad sent me down here."

"At seven at night?" 

"Dude, do you really think I'd be stealing something if I talked to you first?" 

Philip opened his mouth to argue but Gabe came out and that seemed to shut him up.

Gabe beamed at Lukas. "Lukas, I didn't know you were coming by." He smiled and wiped his hands on a rag. "Do you need something?" 

Lukas cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah, Lucy, our horse.. she's still acting weird and my dad was wondering if you could come by and check on her tomorrow." 

"Yeah, of course." Gabe was still smiling. Lukas was positive he always was. "I'll come by around noon." 

Lukas nodded, pulling a key out of his pocket and handing it to Gabe. "For the stables, since my dad won't be home."

"And where will you be?" Gabe teased.

Lukas felt his cheeks get hot. "Oh, I'm going out with Rose and some friends." He forced out a fake laugh.

Gabe nodded. "Yeah, well, drive safe."

Lukas nodded, backing up and turning around, walking past Philip. He made sure to step closer and brush their shoulders together as he walked past. There was no reason he could think of to explain it, but Lukas wanted to touch him. He heard Gabe go inside and tell Philip dinner wad going to be ready soon, but Philip didn't follow him, instead he followed Lukas.

"You have a cool bike." When Lukas looked at him he could see Philip smiling. Philip was touching one of the handles on his bike. "It's louder than you'd expect." 

Lukas shrugged and pulled on his helmet, putting his hands on each of the handle bars, laying one hand over Philips on purpose. Philip pulled away. Lukas pulled the goggles off of the helmet so Philip could still see his eyes. "You into motocross?'

Philip chewed on his lip. "Yeah, of course.. the bikes.. they're all.. cool." He looked Lukas up and down and it only made Lukas' face hotter. "Definitely into motocross. Yep."

Lukas pulled his helmet off me set it in his lap, smiling. "Not to brag, but I'm kind of a big deal." 

Philip smirked. "Oh, yeah? Prove it."

Lukas laughed. It would be easy to prove it. He had tons of awards. "Fine, tomorrow, I come pick you up and I prove it."

Philips tongue ran across his lips. "What about your friends?" He was looking at his feet now. 

"It'll be before them." Lukas looked Philip up and down, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip. "Deal?'

Philip nodded. "Yeah, it's a deal, pick me up at ten?"

Lukas nodded and pulled his helmet back on, pulling the goggles down over his eyes once more, starting his bike and revving it, just because he could. He moved his arm telling Philip to step back and Philip did, leaning against Helens car. Lukas didn't like taking pictures but he wished he could get a picture of that. He sped away, going back home, going into his house without a word. That night he counted the hours until he saw Philip again like sheep as he fell asleep.


	4. Late Night Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking place right after the most recent chapter where Philip told Noah he was cheating.

It probably wasn't okay, what they were doing, well, Philip knew it wasn't. He was already Lukas' and he had been since they met, but Lukas wasn't his. It hurt and Philip hated it, he wanted to scream at Lukas for it, but he knew it could be hard for him and he couldn't get mad at Lukas for doing the same thing he did. Still, he couldn't help but soak up the attention. 

The wind was blowing calmly outside, rain hitting the window gently then streaking down the sides and dripping off. Philip was more focused on the sound of Lukas' voice. He begged to call once Noah had left, it was late, almost eleven at night, but he needed to tell Lukas what he did for himself.. for Noah, and for Lukas.

"Why?" Lukas spoke quietly, his voice almost blending in with the rain.

Philip wanted to laugh and tell him that he did it for him, but he didn't. "It wasn't fair.. he was in love with me.. and I didn't feel the same."

"Are you in love with someone?" 

Philip knew what he was doing but he wasn't going to give it to him. He was in love with Lukas and it was undeniable, but he couldn't give Lukas that power over him. "Yeah.. I have been before, too." Philip played with a lose string on his bedspread. "Have you?"

"Yeah.. once." 

"Does he know?"

"Who says it's a he?" Lukas sounded mad and Philip knew he shouldn't have went there. Lukas was stop delicate when it came to talking about him being.. him. Philip had to remember. 

Lukas sighed and decided to keep talking. "And no.. I don't think he knows... I'm not the best with words if you can't tell."

"He would understand." Philip mumbled. "You just have to be honest." 

Lukas sighed again. "I guess I do." And then the phone went dead.

Philip fell asleep that night praying that Lukas was going to be honest with him and Rose. Philip deserved that much, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Katta because shes been missing Lukas lately


	5. Quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip and Lukas are openly friends at school and they're at lunch when they see Jessica and Emma.

Spring had finally rolled around and ever one slowly moved away from the crowded table inside in the cafeteria and now they sat outside in front of the school in the small patch of grass.

Emma and Jessica were standing underneath a tree, Jessica's back pressed against the bark of the trunk. Emma was pressed up against her, kissing her lips every chance she could. Emma's cheer uniform flowed in the wind along with her high pony tail. Jessica was biting her lip, her hands on Emma's hips as Emma rambled on about something that Philip couldn't hear. All he knew is that they were in love. It was impossible to see and it was impossible to hate. Emma once said that if she saw them together and being cute she would hate them because they were the annoying mushy couple. Philip knew that wasn't true. Their love was too powerful to hate.

Lukas was sitting next to him, propping himself up in his backpack. His eyes were studying Emma and Jessica. Philip wondered if he was comparing their relationship to the girls' the same way he did.

"Do you think we'll ever be like them?" Philip asked.

Lukas cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"You know.." Philip leaned towards him, closing his eyes tight when Lukas moved away from him. "All out.. kissing and touching.. in public."

Lukas stayed silent.

"We might even be cuter than they are. Isn't that insane?"

Lukas stayed silent.

Philip always hated the quiet.


	6. Be Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A football game just ended when Emma and Jessica run into a little girl.

They were one of the last people to leave the stadium, Emma still in her cheerleading uniform despite having the option to change. She wore it every chance that she could, maybe because she loved it, or maybe because she loved what it did to Jessica. She smiled over at her as the bright lights that shined on the football field began to shut off. 

On their way to Emma's car they heard loud footsteps hitting the ground and coming in their direction. Emma turned around, squinting as the figure got closer. It was a little girl who was only about as tall as Emmas waist. 

Jessica smirked as the little girl bound towards them, panting when she got in front of Emma. "Looks like you've got a fan." She teased.

"Hi!" The little girl said loudly. "I'm Angie and I just wanna tell ya that I wanna be a cheerleader because of you."

Emma knelt down and smiled. "That means so much. Thank you." She looked up as the little girls dad stepped up to them.

"She insisted that I let her meet you. She's been to every game this year and she loves it." The man chuckled.

"Well." Emma poked the girls nose and smiled wider when she giggled. "How about I give you something so you can always remember what inspired you?"

Angie's eyes widened and she nodded quickly.

Emma pulled the bow out of her pony tail and wrapped it around Angie's hair, smiling. "There."

Angie wrapped her arms around Emma's neck and hugged her tight before running away with her dad, pointing at the bow and telling him about it.

Emma watched them and smiled.

Just like coach said.

You never know who's watching.


	7. Fear

They had only been out about a week but everyone was freaking out about it. Even Rose, she wasn't mad, she just wanted to know how they were doing and all the cute couple stuff people normally say when they talk about their partner. Lukas loved Philip, he really did, and Philip didn't know so Lukas wasn't going to tell anyone else either. Lukas was never good with words so he didn't get why everyone suddenly expected him to change. He had always been gay, just no one knew.

The sun was beating down on them as they watched cheerleading practice. Emma was down there with the rest of the cheer team and her older sister Erica who was the one who made all the routines. Lukas was sitting with Jessica, he had been hanging out with all of Philips friends more often. They didn't treat him like he was this big deal. They treated him like he was himself and it was a nice break from everything. They didn't act different around him. Well. Noah did. But Lukas knew he would. Lukas came in between him and Philip and he couldn't even imagine how much it would hurt to lose Philip.

Well, right now he was getting kind of an idea of the pain. 

Noah and Philip were down wirh the cheerleaders, trying their best to learn the moves and dance to the music. Every once in a while Noah would turn and look at Philip like he put the moon in the sky and it would make Lukas feel dizzy with anger. Only he could look at Philip like that. It made him even angrier when Noah would touch Philips arm or hand. He waned to just beat his face in and tell him to back off but Philip insisted Noah would back off although what he is doing is the exact opposite of backing off.

"Do you ever get jealous?" Lukas asked, glancing at Jessica. 

Jealousy was new to him. He was only used to feeling it for trophies or how someone does a jump he can't do. But now every time someone even looked at Philip a certain way Lukas was jealous.

Jessica laughed. "You mean with Emma?" She didn't wait for him to reply. "Its impossible not to be. She's cute. Shes hot. She's funny. She's a cheerleader. Shes the whole package and I noticed so of course other people will." She shook her head. "All the time, dude, even with men. And shes a lesbian! I'm just worried that maybe one day she'll replace me or find someone new... She's just so pretty and sweet and perfect.. And I'm me.' 

Lukas nodded, looking down at his lap. He was great, at least that's what he thought, but Philip could find better. Noah was better. He was nicer and he was gentler and he talked about and did things Lukas didn't. Hell, Philip knows there's better, he dated Noah before Lukas.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Jessica stood up and ran down the bleachers, leaning over the edge of the fence, kissing Emma, who had climbed up the fence.

"I love you." Emma hummed, pecking her lips again.

Jessica only smiled back. "I know, darling. I love you."

Lukas looked over at Noah and Philip. They were laughing in a way Lukas could never get Philip to laugh.

Maybe it was less jealously and more fear.

Philip turned and waved at Lukas. "I love you!" He screamed.

But Lukas couldn't hear him.

"I love you!" He screamed again.

And just like that, all the fear ran out of Lukas' body.

"I love you too!"


	8. Gasoline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah wants to know who Philip was with.

They were still sitting next to each other but the distance between them had never felt so far. Noah felt like he couldn't breathe, his chest was tight and tears were weling up in his eyes. It was stupid to be so upset, he thought. After all it had barely been a month.

But Philip was different. Philip was beautiful and sweet and he was smart and strong and he made Noah felt all warm inside. Now that warmth was replaced with a feeling as cold as ice. Maybe he wasn't so different at all.

He didn't blame Philip and he wasn't mad. He was hurt. He understood Philips feelings must be all over the place and his life was hard enough without a commitment like dating. But being understanding didn't stop the pain, it never did. 

"Who was it?" Noah whispered.

"What?" Philip replied.

"Who was it?" 

Philip took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair, keeping his eyes on the tile floor. "Lukas."

And like that it made sense. Lukas shoving him and yelling at them. Lukas staring at them that he did. It wasn't hate or anger. It was jealousy. And now Noah knows exactly how Lukas felt.


	9. After School Activities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place in chapter 26 with Emma and Jessica.

Emma climbed out of her car and slammed her door shut, sliding her hands down her figure to make sure her cheer uniform wasn't wrinkled. She opened the back door and grabbed her backpack, pulling it on, sliding her arms through both straps. She slammed the door shut and smiled past the car at Jessica.

Jessica followed, slipping her backpack on and walking around the car to Emma. She stepped in front of her and turned her around, kissing her.

Emma backed up against the door, pulling Jessica closer by her belt loops. 

Jessica slipped her leg between Emma's, kissing down her neck. "This uniform kills me."

Emma tilted her head to the side and slid her hands up around Jessica's neck. "That's not good." She bit her lip. "Maybe I should take it off."

Jessica looked Emma up and down before pulling away and walking towards the front door. "Lets head inside."

Emma grinned and fixed her skirt before following, pulling out her keys and walking past Jessica. As she unlocked the door she looked at Jessica over her shoulder and winked. She pushed the door open and didn't turn around until she made it up the steps and into her room. She knew Jessica followed her, Jess always does. Jessica stepped into her room seconds later, dropping her backpack on the floor and shutting the door.

Emma walked towards her causing Jessica to step back against the door. She stood up on her toes and kissed Jessica, locking the door before slipping her arms around her waist, her hands fitting in Jessica's back pockets. Jessica's hands were cupping Emma's cheeks as they kissed but soon they made they way to her pony tail. Her fingers wrapped around it and tugged, tilting Emma's head back. Emma closed her eyes and pushed up against Jessica's lips as she kissed down her neck. 

Emma leaned down for another kiss, pulling her hands away from Jessica's ass, wrapping them around her neck. She pulled away and smiled, walking towards the bed, laying down on it with her legs crossed and her arms above her head.

Jessica licked her lips as she strode towards the bed, placing her hands on Emma's legs, uncrossing them and spreading them as far as they could go. She leaned down and trailed her lips up Emma's inner thigh, smirking to herself when she saw the lipstick smears on her skin. She bit down on her upper thigh before sitting up and climbing onto the bed, one of her legs between Emma's and her other leg resting on the outside of Emma's legs. She leaned down and kissed Emma roughly before trailing her lips down her neck, leaving a smear of lipstick right above the beginning of her uniform.

Emma pushed Jessica up and sat up, pulling the top half of her uniform off before pulling her down into another kiss, biting at Jessica's lips. Jessica rolled over, pulling Emma over with her. Emma straddled her, sitting up straight, her hands flat on Jessica's chest, keeping her pinned against the bed. She leaned down and kissed her neck as Jessica's hands found their way around her back, undoing her bra. As Emma sat up to take off her bra they heard her phone vibrate. She was going to ignore it when it vibrated again. And again. She sighed and kept one hand over her chest, holding her bra in place as she climbed off of Jessica and walked over to her backpack.

Jessica sighed dramatically. "Really?"

"Babe, it could be an emergency."

"If I can't get my hands on you in the next five minutes it'll become an emergency." She rolled onto her side. "I think I may die."

Emma rolled her eyes. "It's the groupchat."

"Of course it is."

"Dont be pissy it isn't hot."

"Fine." She sat up. "What do they want?"

"It's Philip asking about tonight's party and Clara replying along with James."

"See. Not an emergency." She patted her lap. "Come here."

Emma rolled her eyes and set her phone down, pulling her bra back on and clipping it. "Nice try. You're gonna help me pick out what to wear."

"I vote nothing."

"Me? Naked? In front of a bunch of people?" Emma smirked, climbing into Jessica's lap once more.

"I take it back."

Emma nodded, smiling. "Of course you do." She leaned down and kissed her again before pushing her back into the bed. "But I think picking out what to wear can wait a little while."

Jessica licked her lips, nodding. "Thank god."


	10. Thank You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during chapter 29 (number/label wise its chapter 30)

Lukas stepped out of Philips room, looking up and down the hall. He walked towards the bathroom, stopping when Gabe called his name. "Uh." He cleared his throat. "Yes?"

Gabe rushed down the hall, lowering his voice. "Did you figure out what the screaming was?" 

Lukas nodded. When he had gotten there Philip was screaming and crying. Gabe was worried but he told him he could handle it. He told Gabe that they were friends, that he knew how to calm him down. "Just a break down.. he.. its bad for him. I mean.. it would be.. with anyone but-"

"His mother was all he had." Gabe finished. He patted Lukas on the back. "Thank you for helping him. I'm just worried."

Lukas was, too. But Gabe didn't need to know. "I'm sure the foster care workers will meet with you. Discuss something."

"I'm really nervous about that." Gabe mumbled. "But I shouldn't dump my problems on you. You have enough." He backed away from Lukas and smiled. "Thanks again."

Lukas nodded, ducking into the bathroom. He grabbed the cleaner that he recognized and a handful of cotton balls and a box of bandaids. He turned around and walked back to Philips room.


End file.
